A friend of mine just got this text from a person she had been on a few dates with. This person, a woman named Dan, is rather strange because she refers to herself in the third person. For example, the text today said:
“So, do you never want to hang out with dan again? I miss hanging out with you…”
So my friend Maxine (pseudonym) is a very sensitive and caring individual. Naturally, a text like this propels her into all of the reasons why she should respond to the text, and further dissection about how to respond, etc. I love her, but having been down this road before I interrupt.
“you know its perfectly acceptable for you to not respond.”
We’ve discussed so much about our relationship woes with each other in the past… I know she knows immediately what I mean and she replies:
“thank you for that. your right and I have to remember that. I don’t have to write back at all!”
She feels better.
Today, my motivational moment is about nothing and the idea that doing nothing (you could think of it as inaction or non action) is a perfectly acceptable option for everyone to exercise, if and when they see fit. Its about the idea that doing nothing, saying nothing, not being available…. those are all perfectly sufficient options of reply.
We often put our concern for others before ourselves. In today’s digitized lifestyle information comes at us faster than ever before. Some people alive today grew up listening to the radio with their families on Friday evenings. Now, we have the entire digital universe in our back pockets and handbags. Suddenly we are a world of people com-pulsed to reply to everything… instantly… and all of the time. Have we forgotten that in fact we don’t have to act on every stimulus that works it’s way to our attention?
The world today bombards us with demands. We have friend requests (oh so important), comments to our posts (have to get to those), text messages, direct messages, emails, voice mails (thank god those are going out of style), likes, check ins, tweets. To me it’s overwhelming… the amount of information we are responding to, making decisions about, re-posting, commenting on.
I guess my final idea about doing nothing is that when it matters…. when your response takes effort and energy….. whenever and however it counts to you… one option you always have in your back pocket or your purse is to just do nothing at all.
Peace and love,